Tips to help grieving students after summer break
The beginning of a new school year is a time of anticipatory excitement for students ready to meet new teachers and see old friends. However, for students who recently suffered the death of a parent or sibling, a new school year is a time of uncertainty and sadness as they face the annual milestone of the start of classes minus their loved one.
“Unfortunately, 1 in 10 children in Missouri will lose a caregiver or sibling before turning 18,” said Melanie Blair, assistant executive director of Lost & Found Grief Center. “As adults, we want to say the ‘right’ thing to make them feel better. There are no words that can take away their grief, but we can listen without judgment.”
Lost & Found Grief Center offers these tips for teachers and other school employees supporting a recently bereaved child to help make that first semester back to school following a significant loss as smooth as possible.
Tips for educators:
- Don't shy away from the conversation. Speaking the name of the person who died is powerful. Ask about their loved one and their favorite stories.
- Remind them there’s no wrong way to grieve. There is no “finish line” for a grieving person. Even siblings who experience the same death will grieve differently.
- Be mindful of your words. Language matters. Use concrete words, such as “dead” or “died,” especially with younger children. Phrases like “passed away” can lead to confusion. Also, use the term “died by suicide” rather than “committed suicide” to avoid casting blame or shame on the surviving family members.
- Encourage healthy coping skills. Activities like journaling, art, exercise, music, and mindfulness are tools in a child’s toolbox for coping with complicated emotions.
- Offer a listening ear for advice. If you are unsure of what to say to a grieving student, a helpful statement may be, “I don’t know if there is something I can say to ease your hurt, but I am happy to listen and sit with you. Can you tell me more about your loved one?”
While nothing can replace the loss of a loved one for a child, adults in their life can help ease the transition back to school.
For more information about helping a student return to school following the death of a loved one, visit our website or contact Lost & Found Grief Center at (417) 865-9998.
Contact: Mark Miller, Lost and Found Grief Center executive director, (417) 839-2886, mmiller@lostandfoundozarks.com
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About Lost & Found Grief Center: Founded in 2000, Lost & Found Grief Center strives to improve lives in the community by providing help, hope, and healing through professional grief support services. Lost & Found Grief Center works with those who are grieving to provide education and support as they face life following a significant death.
