The second Sunday in May often brings special brunches and time spent honoring moms on Mother’s Day. A few weeks later, families gather again as dads take center stage for Father’s Day. These occasions are meant to celebrate parents and strengthen family connections.
For those who have experienced the death of a parent or a child, however, these days can be especially difficult. While many are celebrating, grieving children and parents may feel the weight of their loss more deeply. Following the death of their son, Brandon Shane, in 2021, his mom, Valerie, shared that it was hard to want to celebrate.
“Father’s Day was just a few weeks after his death. How could I celebrate something when my heart was just broken? It was completely broken,” said Valerie, who now serves as a volunteer at Lost & Found.
Approaching this season of celebration with a new reality often means adjusting expectations.
“All holidays can be grief activators for anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one,” said Melanie Blair, assistant executive director of Lost & Found Grief Center. “The key to navigating those difficult days is to practice self-care and, when possible, create new traditions.”
Lost & Found Grief Center offers the following tips for coping with Mother’s and Father’s Day while grieving:
• Manage expectations. It’s okay to opt out of celebrations this year if that feels best for you.
• Set boundaries. Communicate with family and friends about what you can and cannot handle. If you can only participate in part of a traditional gathering, that is enough.
• Recognize your grief activators. Be mindful of situations that may intensify your grief and give yourself permission to avoid them.
• Create new ways to remember. Honor your loved one by making their favorite meal, creating something meaningful, or lighting a candle in their memory.
• Give yourself grace. These holidays are just dates on the calendar. You can connect with loved ones at another time when you feel ready.
Lost & Found Grief Center provides therapeutic grief support groups at no cost to the families it serves. For more information, call (417) 865-9998 or visit www.lostandfoundozarks.com.
Photo caption: Families gather at the closing circle at Lost & Found Grief Center after a night of family grief groups.
Contact:
Mark Miller, Lost & Found Grief Center, Executive Director
mmiller@lostandfoundozarks.com