The Great Grief Quest: Volunteer Spotlight: Valerie & Phillip Shane
When Brandon Shane died from COVID-19 in June of 2021, it made headlines. A Springfield News-Leader headline announced, “Brandon Shane, leader of popular VisionCon events, dies at 31 from COVID complications.”
Brandon was well known in the comic book, sci-fi, and fantasy fan worlds for leading the local Comic-Con-style festival.
“He was a nerd, God bless him. A self-proclaimed king of nerds,” said his father, Phillip.
While his notoriety in the comic book and fantasy world drew attention and praise from friends and family about what a kind, inclusive young man he was, it did not save his parents from devastating grief.
“Father’s Day was just a few weeks after his death,” his mother, Valerie, said. “How could I celebrate something when my heart was just broken? It was completely broken.”
Brandon also worked in the family’s pest control business. For Brandon’s father, he not only lost his son, but also a co-worker he could count on. “I shut down,” Phillip said. “I don’t know how I survived those first few months without him.”
Following Brandon’s death, Phillip and Valerie enrolled in a child-loss grief group at Lost & Found. Like many new participants, Phillip and Valerie were reluctant to attend their first grief group, but that reluctance faded after their first night.
“I remember thinking, ‘These are my people now,’” Valerie said. “It didn’t matter how their child died or how old they were; these were people who missed their children.”
Phillip and Valerie attended Lost & Found for nearly three years as they continued to find help, hope, and healing through their grief support group. As they reached a place of healing, they felt ready to give back as volunteers.
They completed facilitator training and began serving in two very different groups in the fall of 2024.
Valerie serves with adults who’ve experienced the loss of a parent or sibling. Phillip became a facilitator in a kids' group. While unexpected, he has found great joy in being “Mr. Phillip” and helping young children (ages 4-6) navigate the death of a parent or sibling.
Now, nearly two years into volunteering, Valerie recently shared that “volunteering has been another type of therapy,” and Phillip added, “I know we’re making a difference for people, and that’s all that matters.”
This couple’s presence as Lost & Found volunteers is an example of two people who battled the loss of their son, and who are dynamic ripples of hope for others walking a similar path of grief.
If you have questions about Lost & Found Grief Center's Grief Support Groups, contact us online or by phone at 417-865-9998.
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