SPRINGFIELD, MO — Every year, around 1,000 Missouri children die before reaching their eighteenth birthday. Nationally, that number approaches 40,000 infants, children, and adolescents who will die before adulthood.
In July, Bereaved Parents Month focuses on deceased children of any age and their grieving parents. It aims to raise awareness about the grief parents experience after the death of a child.
“We have specific terms like ‘widow’ for spouses who lose their partner, but the English language does not have a comparable term to describe a parent who loses a child,” said Melanie Blair, assistant executive director at Lost & Found Grief Center. Blair is a bereaved mother herself, having lost her son Charlie to complications from bacterial meningitis in 2018.
“It goes against the natural order of things for a parent to experience the death of their child, whether the child is an infant or retirement age,” Blair said. “Losing a child of any age is devastating.”
How to take care of yourself when you are grieving the loss of a child:
- Sleep, drink water, eat nutritious food, and exercise. You cannot feel better if your body does not feel good.
- Understand that grief is a natural response to the death of a loved one. While losing a child is not normal, grief is a natural reaction to the death of a child.
- Do not put a time limit on your grief. Grief lasts as long as it lasts.
- Seek professional help. Grief can be incredibly lonely and isolating, and attending therapeutic grief groups or individual counseling, like that offered at Lost & Found Grief Center, can help ease those feelings.
To support someone who has experienced the death of a child:
- Don’t just offer to help – find a way to help. Mow the lawn, care for pets, make a grocery run, or clean their house. You cannot take away their pain, but you can ease some of the burdens of everyday life.
- Avoid “at least” sayings, such as “At least they aren’t suffering anymore” or “At least they died peacefully.” Their child is dead, and the well-meaning attempts to make the parent feel better may only end up making them feel worse.
- Say their child’s name. A parent may fear that their deceased child will be forgotten, so speak their child’s name.
- Hold space for the grieving parent. You don’t have to say anything, but a caring presence can help ease someone’s grief.
- Do something in their child’s name. A donation or act of kindness in their child’s name will mean a great deal to a grieving parent.
It is also a good idea to encourage friends or family members who have lost a child of any age to seek professional grief support. Lost & Found Grief Center offers therapeutic grief support groups at no cost to the families it serves.
For more information on Lost & Found’s therapeutic grief support, visit lostandfoundozarks.com or call (417) 865-9998.
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About Lost & Found Grief Center: Founded in 2000, Lost & Found Grief Center strives to improve lives in the community by providing help, hope, and healing through professional grief support services. Lost & Found Grief Center works with those who are suffering to provide education and support as they face life without their deceased loved ones.