"Lost & Found changed my life for the better"
“How I wish, how I wish you were here.” – Pink Floyd
That lyric from the iconic Pink Floyd song “Wish You Were Here” is appropriate when discussing the Neuberger family. Pink Floyd was Aaron Neuberger’s favorite band.
“Aaron’s love of Pink Floyd goes back to his dad and his grandpa,” said Olivia Neuberger, Aaron’s widow. “I remember the first time we sat down and watched a concert on TV. He was giddy like a little kid.”
Now, Olivia outfits her young daughters in Pink Floyd t-shirts and dresses to commemorate their dad, who died in October 2022 due to complications from Pancreatitis.
“I lost my best friend, my husband, my children’s dad,” Olivia said. “There is a huge hole in my heart and our house.”
While Aaron was in the intensive care unit, hospital officials informed Olivia about Lost & Found Grief Center, but she was initially resistant to seeking help.
“I thought I was too strong to need assistance,” Olivia said. “Little did I know that four weeks later, I would be sitting in my first group session while my girls attended the kids’ class.”
That first night of group at Lost & Found was terrifying for Olivia because she had to admit that Aaron was never coming back.
Olivia’s girls were both scared and sad on the first night at Lost & Found. Now, they would tell other kids about attending Lost & Found that despite their sadness, they will make new friends and have fun learning how to process their grief.
“Lost & Found taught me that it’s okay to grieve, to talk about how I’m feeling, and to grow,” Olivia said. “My life changed when Aaron died, but Lost & Found also changed my life for the better.”
When Olivia or his girls would get frustrated, Aaron would often reference another Pink Floyd song “Another Brick in the Wall.” Olivia recalls, “Aaron would say, ‘It’s just another brick in the wall. It’s just part of your path. Sometimes you have to go through the hard part to make a pretty path.’”
"I had hope that things would get better"
Nikki Moore describes her late husband, Jabe, as a chameleon. Jabe had several careers and pursued many hobbies. Most recently, he worked in energy management at Fort Leonard Wood, and in his free time, he played golf and pool.
Jabe was also a friendly guy who could turn an errand into a social event.
“He’d run to the store and be gone for an hour because he was talking to someone,” Nikki said. “Jabe would say, ‘God just sends me people, and they tell me things they wouldn’t normally tell someone else.’”
Jabe died in the summer of 2023 due to an enlarged heart. He was only 44. Jabe’s death left Nikki alone to parent their three daughters.
“He was my best friend,” Nikki said of her high school sweetheart. “I miss his input and having a partner to decide what is best for our girls.”
Some relatives told Nikki about Lost & Found Grief Center, and she attended the Caregivers Group while her daughters went to the Children, Middler, and Teen Groups.
“I was nervous that first night in group because I didn’t know what to expect,” Nikki said. “But seeing people who were farther along in their grief journeys gave me comfort because I had hope that things would get better.”
The Moores live in rural Webster County, and when group night rolls around twice a month for Nikki and her daughters, it would be easier for them to stay home rather than make the trek into Springfield. However, Nikki and her girls are committed to the process and regularly attend group sessions.
“I find so much strength at Lost & Found. You go to group and leave feeling lighter,” Nikki said. “Just to hear someone say they are struggling with the same things you are struggling with. Lost & Found helps keep you going.”
Nikki’s youngest daughter also found healing at Lost & Found, “You are in a safe environment and as time goes on it gets easier to talk about your person. I would tell anyone thinking about going to Lost & Found that the people at this place are super-duper nice, like, max level nice.”
Just as Jabe had a way of getting others to open up to him, Nikki and her daughters found a similar connection in their groups. Through Lost & Found, they discovered a place to share stories about their friendly husband and father. The man who could turn a simple errand into a heartfelt conversation. They keep Jabe’s memory alive through the bonds they are forming with their fellow participants.
"Lost & Found, it's like a family"
When Joe Struble died in August of 2023, he left behind his wife and two young sons. Losing a spouse after a prolonged illness is hard enough, but Joe’s wife, Orlymar, dealt with challenges most widows do not face. When Joe died, Orlymar found herself in a foreign country thousands of miles from her native Venezuela. The day after Joe died, Orlymar called Lost & Found Grief Center.
“It’s like a family,” Orlymar said. “Where I come from, we don’t have this type of help.”
Joe met Orlymar in 2008 while working at the oil refineries in Venezuela. Orlymar began dating the Billings native. They eventually married, moved to the Ozarks, and had two sons.
“Joe was a nice person. He was always willing to help people,” Orlymar said. “I loved that about him.”
An attentive father, Joe played basketball with his boys, took them four-wheeling, and loved being outside.
“We used to walk to McDonald’s with Dad and then walked to the park to play,” his older son recalled.
For a child who loses a parent, it is easy for them to feel like they are the only one without a mother or father, but through Lost & Found, they know they are not alone.
“Their classmates have dads, but my boys know that at Lost & Found, they have friends going through the same thing,” Orlymar said.
The Struble boys look forward to their group nights at Lost & Found. They made connections with other children and, through activities like mask-making, have learned to manage their emotions.
“I am really thankful for Lost & Found,” Orlymar said. “If it weren’t for Lost & Found, their daddy’s death would have been much harder on them. It has made a change in my boys.”
Lost & Found works to “Flip the Script” during Children’s Grief Awareness Month
SPRINGFIELD, MO — In recognition of Children’s Grief Awareness Month this November, Lost & Found Grief Center joins other members of the National Alliance for Children’s Grief to “Flip the Script” on grief.
Throughout the month, Lost & Found is committed to providing essential tools and resources to foster a more grief-informed society. This initiative, created by NACG with support from national childhood grief organizations, Dougy Center, Eluna, Experience Camps, and Judi’s House, seeks to address the common challenges people face when supporting those who are grieving, aiming to replace potentially hurtful statements or silence with action-based responses.
Drawing directly from the feedback of young people who are grieving, the campaign encourages individuals, communities, and professionals to shift away from hurtful and dismissive words often said to young people who are grieving. The responses from young people highlighted the painful impact of common phrases like “it’ll be fine” or “that sucks,” which can isolate and invalidate what is, for many, a deeply personal experience. Instead, the young people are asking for real, tangible support, replacing these words with actions that genuinely make a difference, such as simply sitting and listening while pressing pause on giving advice and understanding that everyone’s grief experience is unique.
Young people are asking adults to:
- Be present.
- Listen actively.
- Realize that actions speak louder than words.
- Press pause on giving advice.
- Understand that grief is physical, not just emotional.
- Cultivate a supportive environment for sharing.
- Empower young people’s voices.
- Recognize the uniqueness of each person’s grief.
Children’s Grief Awareness Month serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of acknowledging and supporting grieving children and their families. According to the JAG Institute’s 2024 Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model Report, an alarming statistic underscores the urgency of this effort: 1 in 12 children, or approximately 6.3 million children, in the United States, will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the age of 18. The profound impact of this loss cannot be understated. In 2022 alone, nearly 1,100 children were bereaved every day, emphasizing the need for greater awareness and support for those navigating the complexities of childhood grief.
Mark Miller, Lost & Found Grief Center’s executive director, emphasized the significance of Children’s Grief Awareness Month, stating, “While the national statistic of 1 in 12 children experiencing the loss of a parent or sibling is alarming, in Missouri, the numbers are even more striking—1 in 10 children will face this profound loss before turning 18. Lost & Found Grief Center is proud to join the ‘Flip the Script’ campaign, raising awareness and empowering our community to support children who are grieving. Together, we can change the conversation and provide the help, hope, and healing these children need.”
Throughout November, Lost & Found will share actions anyone can take to support young people who are grieving. By fostering a more grief-informed society, we can collectively help alleviate the pain and isolation that grieving children often experience.
For more information on Children’s Grief Awareness Month and to access valuable resources for supporting children who are grieving, please visit nacg.org and search for #FlipTheScript on Facebook and Instagram.
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Contact: Mark Miller, Lost and Found Grief Center executive director, (417) 839-2886, mmiller@lostandfoundozarks.com
About the Lost & Found Grief Center: Founded in 2000, the Lost & Found Grief Center strives to improve lives in the community by providing help, hope, and healing through professional grief support services. The Lost & Found Grief Center works with those who are suffering to provide education and support as they face life without their deceased loved one.