Back to School Grief Tips

The start of a new school year is an exciting time for children. Students are excited to meet their new teachers, see old friends, and discover their favorite classes. But, for children who experienced the loss of a parent, caregiver, or sibling the previous year, the fall semester brings uncertainty and sadness as they navigate this annual milestone minus an essential person in their life.  

“One in ten children in Missouri will experience the loss of a parent or sibling by age 18,” said Melanie Blair, assistant executive director of Lost & Found Grief Center. “It is important for us to acknowledge their loss and communicate openly. By better understanding a child’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions, we can help them feel safe and heard during times of transition.” 

Lost & Found Grief Center offers these tips for parents, caregivers, and teachers to help make that first semester back to school after a significant loss as smooth as possible.   

Tips for parents and caregivers:

• Notify your child’s teacher. You want your child’s teacher to be aware of the death. Discuss with your child what they are comfortable sharing so they feel included in the process. 

• Speak with your child’s school counselor. After a death, children may exhibit changes in behavior: anger, trouble concentrating, isolation, and slipping grades. These changes can be part of normal grief and adjustment, but if they persist, they can be a sign that professional support is needed.  

• Make a communication plan. You, your child’s teacher, and your child’s school counselor must communicate in a way that will work for all parties. If you have concerns at home, do not hesitate to update your child’s teacher and counselor so they can be aware and request they do the same with you. 

• Prepare your child for other kids. Let your child know that other kids may not understand death and may say hurtful things. Tell your child that it is his choice what to share, if anything, with other children.  

Tips for teachers and counselors:

Teachers should be aware that even the most seemingly innocent activity can be overwhelming for a grieving student. Something as simple as an essay prompt that asks, “What did you do over the summer?” could inadvertently force a child to re-live the death of a family member.  

• Be aware of potential grief prompts and provide additional support and understanding.  

• Let students know their response is normal. 

• Provide extra individual attention and support. 

• Provide alternative assignments. 

• Allow extra time for adjustment to new routines. 

• Let the student know you understand things are different and challenging for them and invite them to talk to you about their struggles. 

• Check in with these students more frequently to show support and encourage them to share their feelings. 

• Establish a communication plan with parents and caregivers. 

While nothing can replace the loss of a loved one for a child, adults in their life can help ease the transition back to school.  

For more information about helping a student return to school following the death of a loved one, please contact the Lost & Found Grief Center at (417) 865-9998.