I have survived many tragedies in my
life but losing a child is by far the worst.
However, by the grace of God, I will survive this one also. A couple of years ago, I had breast cancer
and lost a part of my body. I thought
that was bad, but it pales in comparison.
Losing my child is like losing a part of my "being.” Andrea was ripped from my heart, and that
jagged tear will always be there. A
certain part of me will be gone forever.
How do I gone on? I pray for strength. I remember the blessings I have now --my
husband, Kelly and Kacy, a nice home, etc.-- and I remember the wonderful
eighteen years I got to spend with Andrea.
My relationship with the Lord has
improved. I’ve cried with God, I’ve
yelled at God, I’ve blamed Him and pleaded with Him to tell me why. Through it all, He has always been there,
giving me sign after sign that He is a loving God, that He didn’t do this to
hurt me, and that He will be there for me.
He has tried to show me that Andrea is in Heaven, no longer in the
mental anguish that she was suffering.
The fact that the anniversary of her death fell on Easter was a big
sign. For brief moments in time, I feel
at peace realizing that my daughter gets to spend eternity in Heaven "forever
I miss Andrea so much. I struggle with why and the unfairness of it
all, but I also trust God. He is
almighty, all knowing. He had to know it
was the best, maybe not for me but for her.
And that’s all I have wanted…the best for my children.