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Oldow Family

Our journey since you left us has not been easy. How do you fill the empty space? Losing you, Richard, has changed our lives beyond words. Shattered like broken glass, the heart bleeds. Feelings too strong to face and retreating to a stage of denial is so much safer, blocking all feelings. In the beginning, the feelings are too much to bear. Only with time, support of loved ones and God can one begin to face the brokenness of a shattered heart. The bleeding stops and the wounds begin to slowly heal. What you have are scars that hurt less and less each day. . . and only time can help you to connect with those feelings. Then you share those feelings, feeling the pain deep to the core where they have been lying dormant. It is only in going through the pain that the lost can get to the other side. "Acceptance” comes only after realizing that we need to be grateful of the time that we had together. Richard, you were brave and determined to fight your mental illness. We are proud of you. Thank you for the life you gave us. We are sorry you had to go the way you did. How can a child understand why her Dad took his life? What is it like to live with mental illness . . . the stigma of society always at your back? How do you explain the torment that Richard went through? What is it like to live with the side effects of psychiatric medications or to become homeless? One day, it’s more than you can handle. Richard has peace now. He always loved his girls, Nicole, Kendra, Kayla and me. Richard wants us to be happy and to go on living life to the fullest, even when he could not.